In the 90's I developed a sudden urge to travel....so I travelled....but after France and Belgium I got waylaid in Germany. I enjoyed it there....playing music and going to restaurants and drinking lager that was delivered...like milk...to my door. I spent a while out there...at the height of Brit Pop. I watched it unfold from my alabaster tower at Frankfurter Strasse 88...in Wurzburg.(a lovely...if a little too Conservative...city which we flattened in the 1940's....except for the Fortress MarionPlatz) On my return to the UK...on August 1st 1995...I decided that I would get my act together and travel again...without getting obstacle-ised and held to ransom by Bavarian Beauty. My plan was to get my act together....literally...and work all the cruise ships as UNLUCKY FRIED KITTEN. So.....UFK was born....destined to spread it's tentacles over the mighty people-crammed hulks of the seas. I began to buy all the magazines I could find on shipping, ferries and cruises. I was hooked. In 1997 I done just about a daily run on the ferries...from Dover to Calais. Three months of ferries, trains and hovercraft.
August 13th 1997 saw me hospitalised for 3 months after I snapped my leg in two in a nasty accident. There were other injuries...but this caused the most utter inconvenience. I was shown the video of the 'operation' at a later date...with the surgeon hammering a shiny stainless-steel rod from my knee-cap down to my ankle...secured by plates and pins at each end. Blood squirting at the camera. It was like a butcher's slab. I'm not in any way dissing the medicos when I say this. I mean...how else can one expect a rod to be inserted through the flesh and bone of the vestibule of one's right leg? You just don't think about these things until it happens to you.
So...I was very incapable of energetic practice...but in 1998 I met Celine Boury...a trainee osteopath from Arras...Northern France. To this day I think that she is the kindest person I have ever met...and she runs her own practice in France now (which is rather an achievement considering France is very anti...what they call 'traitement alternatif') Celine and I worked on our own program of pain-management...through remote-viewing....which helped me get through my pain. In a nutshell....I would transport myself to far-off places...in my mind...and Celine would experiment with my pain-threshold. It began with her pinching my arm...or pulling some hairs from my head...whilst I was pushing a handcart over dusty roads in Holland. As we got better and braver we reached the heights of Celine actually sticking pins in my arms and legs...whilst I was purchasing little earthenware pots from a craggy olive-skinned man in a market in Peru.
This all brings me back to the magazines...because once I had developed my remote viewing skills...I began to 'travel' to all the places in these magazines. I have seen the world...without leaving my armchair.
I transported bananas homeward with a Capt Lorenzo D Baker from Port Morant, Jamaica in his schooner, Telegraph, in 1870....and I was still home in time to watch Eastenders.
I escaped from the wreckage of the passenger ship, Norge, in 1904, in which 635 people lost their lives. (a tragedy made worse by the ship's chronic shortage of lifeboats...providing a lesson in safety at sea ignored by British Maritime Authorities...until after the loss of the Titanic...8 years later) Then I woke up and fed the cats.
This brings me to the most interesting instance of my remote-viewing.
In March 2010...two years ago...I took a trip to the Eastern caost of Russia. I unearthed a casket...it had VALENTINA M carved into the heavy oak surface and when I opened it I found it was filled with gems and precious metals. This discovery heralded the beginning of my fruitless two-year search for the precious gems. I am...of course...speaking metaphorically...but I DID carry that dream for two whole years. It promised much...but gave little...if anything. I've always been a positive person...and have always urged myself to follow my dreams. Here's one time I wish i hadn't...because it was dream I was never due to win. I lost...I have accepted defeat...like a man.
I have listed my inspirational and galvanising shipping magazines on e-bay...because the dream is over. No more remote-viewing. No more gems or pearls or precious metals. No more searching for the answer behind the legend that is VALENTINA M ?????
The sale:
Approximately 300 magazines...all in tip-top condition...SHIP-SHAPE in fact.
Titles such as Ships Monthly, Shipping Today, European and British Ferry Scene, British Ferry Scene etc
And they thought UNLUCKY FRIED KITTEN were merely an 'average pop punk band'
£25 the lot....buyer collects. From Maidstone. Cheers
I need to get rid...so I can go to NEPAL
